Archive for the ‘Fiction’ Category

Dear DVDs: sorry, but we’re over

September 7, 2011

Dear DVDs: sorry, but we’re over

Look, DVDs, we’ve had some great times. Saying good-bye isn’t easy, but we both know it’s over between us.

Don’t pretend you haven’t seen the signs. I stopped buying new ones a while ago. At that point, i knew I needed some space…cyberspace. No, just kidding, I actually mean physical space. You just keep taking up more and more of it. First, it was just a shelf, and then a rack, and then a whole wall unit. Well, you did share it with some other electronics, but still.

Yes, we had some good times. I loved those boxed sets, and those weird collectible boxes that were shaped like viking helmets and stuff. That was cute.

But there were bad times, too. I just couldn’t stand your scene swings…we’d be happy watching a movie, and every time we got to one scene, you just froze and then skipped back to the beginning. What was that about? I even bought some kind of spinny thing to try to fix that…didn’t work. It’s in a cupboard with my Ronco record cleaner.

We got over how much you cost with Netflix. But now, Netflix tells me I’m a bad person if I watch DVDs. They charge me a fine every month if I do it, but they let me watch all the streaming video I want for less than I used to pay!

That’s right, I said it…streaming video! I’m going with someone younger, someone not so needy, someone…more available, who fits in better with my lifestyle. Sure, sure, I might not be able to watch everything I could on DVDs…but there are a lot of things on streaming I would never have gotten to see if I had to buy a piece of plastic and then find it again when I wanted to see it. Would I have bought a boxed set of The Guild? Nope, but I love it on streaming video. Would I have gone back and watched every episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show? Okay, you got me there…but not the ninety episodes of Dark Shadows I’ve watched recently

Ironically, one of the last DVDs I watched was 127 Hours…great metaphor, right? Trapped by some big hunk of the physical world, unable to go anywhere any time I wanted (hello, video on a SmartPhone)…

Don’t worry, we’ll always have Paris…at least until Netflix streams Casablanca…

This post by Bufo Calvin originally appeared in the I Love My Kindle blog.

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