My take on Horror of the Blood Monsters
Blood monsters…that means vampires, right? Sure, ordinarily…but this is an Al Adamson movie! So, not only are they vampires, they are vampires from space! And..and…the only way we can stop them is to let crazy scientist guy John Carradine take a bunch of actors we never heard of to another planet! Then, they run into vampires, only these are caveman vampires, only some of the cavemen aren’t vampires, in fact, one of them falls in love with a crewman and he thinks she’s pretty hot, because, um, she doesn’t look like a caveman, and they fight flying bat people, and a lobster man! You heard me, LOBSTER MAN, because they need firewater, only that doesn’t mean alcohol, it means oil, so they can fix the ship (which I guess crashed when they lowered it down on that fishing line) which is where two people keep having sex by doing something with a machine and the picture keeps changing color because of chromatic radiation and there are dinosaurs and a mammoth and that lizard and alligator that wrestle around with rubber fins stuck on them from One Million Years BC…you know, the one with Victor Mature, not the one with Raquel Welch, because, um, that would be silly…
Whew! Take a breath…
Is this a cheap, tacky movie? Actually, it’s more than one. Adamson bought the rights to Tagani, a Filipino movie. That’s the vampire cavemen part. Then, there’s the vampires on Earth part…shot by Adamson. This includes a heavily accented voiceover by Brother Theodore. Oh, and there’s the rocket stuff with John Carradine…apparently, it might have been considered a bad idea to have him clambering around on the alien planet location…he just stays on the spaceship and barks things at people.
So, I have to give Adamson credit for creativity. Apparently, the whole chromatic radiation thing was because drive-ins didn’t want movies in black and white. “You want color? I’ll give you color…just one at a time.”
Special note: the killer bat people probably resonated more with people in the Philippines, where there is a tradition of such creatures.
You can watch it for free online here. I haven’t watched that version of it, and I’ve seen two now…the DVD was fine, and another version I saw had the sound quite a bit out of sync.
Are you going to like it? Well, it is probably the best lobster man/vampire caveman movie you’ll see this year. 😉